School Fundraiser

I’ve been sitting in 6th period for five minutes now, and I think my butt is going to slide off my back. No, I’m not dealing with some sort of freak genetic mutation. I have just been sitting in these seriously uncomfortable desks all day. What do people think we are -statues? Do they think that we can sit on something as hard as stone all day, and still pay attention? Well, as you can read, I am currently distracted from my task of basic Excel learning, to have this wonderful discourse with my blog.

My butt is killing me! School furniture is evil! It’s like they carved my desk seat from granite and painted it to look like wood. I’m serious! I’m sure that when school was invented they all sat around in a circle, sitting on stone slabs or tree trunks. But aren’t we in the modern era? Don’t we have the wheel, and TV and Starbucks?! Everything about the world has evolved. Everything but school furniture!

I hate to tell you this, but I must. I think my butt just fell asleep. I can’t feel it pulsing with anguish anymore. Does that mean its sleeping? Should I be worried about butt death? Is that possible?  The top of my desk is normal. It’s made of some sort of plasticy substance. I think they call it laminated particle board. I’m not sure. All I know is that the only thing in the room that is comfortable to sit on is the teacher’s chair. I tried sitting in it once when he was out, and when he came back in he gave me two days detention for using his “private property”.

School furniture might be cheap, but it sure makes it hard to pay attention in class.